we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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