this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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