Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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