your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
