You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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