Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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