I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
