I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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