I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
