Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
