too bad you live with your parents still
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
