Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
be right there i have to get my cape
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
