the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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