Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
