I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This is not my ceiling
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
