i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
