69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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