I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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