You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Screwed.edu
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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