why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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