I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
