I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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