I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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