lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
