New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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