and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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