dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
