You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
