Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
