i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
