We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
