didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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