Me. At least after what I've been through.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
