i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
this is an emotional support booty call
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
