You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I think people are normalizing furries
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
