I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
