so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
