Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
