btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
