belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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