Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
