New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
