you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
