Are we in a gay sports bar?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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