so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
