come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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