I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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