Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
ttyl tear gas
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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