Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i think my mom watched the whole time
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
