rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize